it's early in the morning here. the sun is rising. the skies are so bright. the birds are chirping tranquilly . the cold air feels so gentle against my breaths. one word to describe this magnificent day, ma sha'a Allah.
well, my previous entry yesterday, talking about the big day for former spm candidates of 2011. the day where their results were announced. so, yeah... now i'm talking about that day. but, what does it have to do with my post title above? having a date with adrenaline, yeah, for me it sounds so legit, right?
for an underdog like me (yes, that is an honest avowal) yesterday felt like the end of the day - literally.
at first, only God knew how i felt. i felt a pounding in my head. my legs were shaking so obviously. my hands were trembling involuntarily. how else to describe? Allah knows best!
i remembered yesterday, to keep myself at peace and calm, i took an ablution. and yes, it worked for me, alhamdulillah. dressing myself up in a pair of pastel purple baju kurung, a purple hijab and a pair of ballerina shoes i recently bought, i headed to school with big dreams and hopes. along the journey, my heart kept praying.
finally, i arrived at school with my two best friends awaiting at the main gate. and i could see worriment and anxiousness on their innocent-looking faces. we hugged each other, just to keep ourselves calm. then, we walked side by side into the school area to head to the main hall.
you know, i actually regretted for being there quite early. i knew i wasn't supposed to, but...
we had to wait a quite while. and waiting was indeed suffocating. while waiting, we chatted among ourselves - like we hadn't met for ages! yes, my precious ma and my mak ngah were there, too.
you know why waiting was more suffocating for me yesterday? because those bothersome (i'm considering so) rumors spread. they kept talking about the uncertainties. oh, couldn't they wait until the time came. i was totally mad, curious, anxious.
alright, then i received the most appalling news for my whole entire life. a teacher told me that i scored a merely B+ for my most favorite subject, chemistry it was. that was so devastating. because (not being cocky, mind you!) i always managed to score an a for chemistry in every monthly test and exam. No! God's not that mean! astaghfirullah!!! so, i couldn't control myself. i went to my former form teacher and i told her. and yeah, i was not able to stop the flow of tears. i noticed some students were looking at me, with their ardent gazes. at that time, i couldn't care less. i just... expressed my feelings, being a real me.
ALHAMDULILLAH, this ultimate underdog managed to score well, even though there are so many super brilliant students out there. but i'm thankful and grateful enough for HIS blessings! and the good news was, it wasn't a B+ i got for chemistry. for that, i'm thanking HIM for all my heart. but what made me a lot more blessed was to see my precious ma crying of joy. i hugged her tightly. this is for her. for her. indeed her tears for me has saved me from hell fire in the Hereafter. subhanallah!
here, i would like to take this opportunity to congratulate all of you on your success in spm exam. and, from the deep of my heart, i'm thanking ma and abah, my family, my NAFAS friends, my best friends, my teachers for their ultimate support, sincere prayers and just for everything. also, i'm dedicating my success to my late mak long. she's a pure inspiration. al-fatihah.
yes, i know my journey to the future is so far away. and i know, great challenges lying await for me. and not to forget, those tough competitions i have to endure with much better students. may Allah swt ease everything for me, in sha Allah.
till the next post! :)
p/s: looking forward to buying a new handbag and a pair of shoes soon. yeah, precious ma allows me!